Winning and Losing

I was watching the sitcom How I Met Your Mother yesterday. A huge fight takes place between lily and Marshall( husband and wife). And lily storms out. Now Marshall starts having conversation with imaginary lily or ghost lily. And he wins the argument.he asks ghost lily ' that's it? I win? She thought I am gonna lose!'
Then lily says ' you are gonna lose' ,you are gonna lose this. (Making a hand gesture as if showing connection between them)If you keep lying to me, if you keep cutting me out of decisions, if you keep using words like winning and losing when you talk about our marriage. It's not like it'll happen all at once, but if you keep acting this way, little by little you're gonna lose me.

Isn't that so true? When we win an argument with our partner we think we won. When our ego wins over our love, we think we won. Don't you think you are losing the connection with that person? Little by little, day by day, we lose them, and before we realise ,they are gone. And that's when we start seeing the goodness of the person and what we have lost. And it will be too late by then. Why do marriages fall apart? Why do break ups happen? Because of our ego and our obsession to win. If you love the person with whom you are, then before letting your ego take action, try to calm down and think what you can do about it.

 Try to follow these steps
1. When you get upset or angry with your partner, instead of getting judgemental and start fighting, just calm down, take deep breaths and be silent.
2. Once you feel you are in control of the words coming out of your mouth, talk to your partner.
3. And when you talk do not use harsh tone, just get to know their view and once you hear them out, let them know how you are feeling and not what they did. Do not point at their actions, instead show them your feelings.
4. If talking is not working out, give them space and make sure they don't think you are doing this out of anger. When you text them during this period, keep it simple and friendly
5. Go out with your friends and do whatever you like to do during this period. Do not stalk your partner. Give them a chance to live their life and you start living yours.
6. Once they come back to you, be welcoming. Do not remind them of what they did. They know it deep down. That's why they have come back. If you  start the same thing again, may be they will think it was a stupid idea to come back.
7. If they do not come back, it's never a loss. Move on with life. You might have learnt something from this relationship. Keep that with you always and move on. May be something better is waiting for you.

Always, always give your 100%. If that 100% is not enough for someone, then it's not your problem. But do not ruin a relationship when all that person is looking for is 50% of what you've got, and just because of your ego, you are  giving 10% when you are actually capable of 100%.

Today I booked a cab to go to office. The cab arrived on time, when we were on our way, the cab driver got a phone call. And after the call, the driver requested me to book another cab as he has to immediately go somewhere. He said his friend passed away. I told him that I am sorry to hear that and asked him what happened? He told me that his friend fell down from the bike two months back and had a very bad leg injury. As they did not take care of it properly, it turned in to cancer. He also told me that he got married just 6 months back and his wife is pregnant. I felt a lump in my throat after hearing this.

I was thinking, how fragile the human life is. That girl would have never thought that she would be widowed in six months. All she can hold on to are those memories of six months. So many times in our lives, we take people for granted. We sure do love them, but we forget to show that love. We get ourselves involved in petty arguments and misunderstandings. We don't know how long we have got them or they have got us. Life is too short, Life is too uncertain.

So...Keep Loving..Be Happy and Just Live your life to the fullest...

Stardust

There is so much more to life than we can comprehend. There is so much more to this Universe we are living in, How insignificant we are and our problems when you could actually understand where you stand in this Universe. So many times I sit and worry about lot of things, some of which I have control over and some of which I do not or rather I am too lazy to take control. But end of the day what matters? How I feel is what matters or how I choose to feel is what matters. Not what this person said or that person did, Not how much I earn or how much I spend. It's just what I feel, is what matters. Many times I think when a person who is close to you dies, a part of you dies, When my grand mother passed away recently, I felt that. I have so many childhood memories with her, so many memories with her even in the recent years, when she passed away I felt a big loss, I felt so helpless and felt a void in my heart. Even in a relationship, when a person leaves, you feel a void, something which can never be filled. A part of you which is dead. A death of a relationship is as painful as the death of a person, But then, I thought of this, how about we don't let it die? what if my memories are the only thing which is alive? I have many memories with grandma. Why can't I save them? why can't I keep them alive? If someone loses in a relationship, then let them nurture those memories which are the only things alive in the relationship. Use them to understand yourself and improve yourself. After all, we are Stardust, Can you imagine?
We have the power to shine and to reflect. We have the power to be as beautiful as we can. Why waste all that in pouting,brooding and being sad. Be the best you can be in loving someone. Doesn't matter if they are alive, doesn't matter if they no longer exist in your life physically. Just love them with all your heart, because that is what you are supposed to do. That is the only way to happiness, They can feel you, even if they can't see, even if they can;t hear. They will feel you and that is what is important.

My Sweetest Grandma

It's been long that I haven't posted anything here. Was quiet busy with lot of things, figuring out too many things. My beloved sweet grandma passed away on April 15th. It was very painful for me. The reason being, I stayed with her during my Engineering days and I have known her very closely. She is a very sweet lady. Even though she did not know how to read and write, she was very good at picking up English words while we speak and she would repeat them. Whenever we watch NGC or Discovery channel, she would watch very keenly and ask questions about the show. When I had a crush on a guy during my first year in the company and when I told her about it, she did not make a big fuss about it, instead she said, If the guy is good and if God Willing, why not?. She was way ahead of her time. When I used to take my Dad to hospital and stay with him in the hospital when he was not well, she would tell my Dad, 'She is not your daughter, she is your Son" and that would move me to tears. Even at the age of 82, she wanted to wash her clothes on her own. even a day before she passed away, when she was in the hospital, not able to get up from her bed, she went to the bathroom on her own and wanted to wash her saree. I have so much love for her and I always will. I know she is seeing me from a far away land and I want to thank her for bringing us up. For staying awake for 3 months when I was a baby and could not stop crying whole night, I want to thank her for all the summer holidays she would bear with us when we made a big mess of the house which she maintained so well. I want to thank her for cooking food for me every single dayand doing all the household chores without letting me lift even a tumbler when I was doing my Engineering, and lastly I want to thank her for being with us in our house and bringing such a charm to it.

May her soul rest in Peace...